Insight Online News / By Rhia Nichols
Sex isn’t discussed nearly enough.
The term “communication” appears in 99 percent of contemporary relationship advice/literature… But it seldom has anything to do with our sexual life. It’s typically about resolving disputes, deepening your relationship, or expressing envy. All of these are very legitimate areas to focus on.
And certain arguments are better served by a passionate, emotionally present night of sexual activity than by words.
Having said that… sex! How come we don’t speak about it more with our partners? We’ve arrived.
Let’s get started.
Here are five things to ask in order to improve the quality of your sexual life. Some may be simpler for you to apply than others, but I guarantee that if you do, you will see advantages from each and every question.
The men who ask these five questions are the best in bed.
- Can you tell me about some of your favorite sexual encounters (whether with us or with others)? What did you find so appealing about those experiences?
You may need to put aside your triggered ego for this one since, spoiler warning, your spouse most likely had sexual encounters prior to meeting you.
When you and your partner reflect on your whole sexual history, what events or experiences stand out as the hottest/most erotic/most profoundly satisfying?
This is an important topic that ought to be considered. Allow a few days. Keep a journal about it. Let’s talk about it.
What have been your most memorable sexual encounters? Who have some of your collaborators been? After that, are you willing to integrate that experience, or some variant of it, into your sex life?
Granted, some experiences should be left in the past, but if you and your spouse (or one of your previous lovers) used to do something that you truly miss, you may include it in your current sex life.
- How would you describe your ideal sex life?
What does your perfect sexual life entail? What frequency would make you the happiest? What precise actions do you wish to do on a weekly basis? What emotional substance do you seek in your lovemaking? Is hugging a part of your ideal sex life? Bondage? Quickie breakfasts? A lot of cuddling?
Consider it, talk about it, and include anything you both feel acceptable.
- What do you like most about our present sexual life?
If you ask these questions in sequence with your partner (which is entirely up to you), the first two questions may have sparked some fascinating new thoughts. This inquiry is intended to remind you both of what is already working for you.
What do you already love about the sexual activity you and your partner do on a daily basis?
You may be startled by the answers that come to the surface for yourself and your spouse. The simplest thing you like may come as a complete surprise to them, and conversely, they may express something that was completely unexpected to you. These unexpected elements are what make these exercises/questions so important. You don’t know until you ask, even if you’ve been with your spouse for years.
- Is there anything you’d want to do more of in our sex life together?
Perhaps you used to do something together on a regular basis when you first began dating, but it slipped by the wayside. Perhaps a certain position was overlooked because one of you privately felt less confident when having sex in that position. Whatever the causes are of the decline in sexual practices, it is important to discuss them.
Is there anything in your and your partner’s sex lives that you’d want to reintroduce into yours?
- Is there anything new you’ve wanted to try but weren’t sure whether you should?
For a variety of terrible reasons, there is a great deal of guilt associated with our sexuality. Well-meaning parents, classmates, movies, media, and misguided early sexual educators instill in us a lot of incorrect assumptions about what we’re permitted to desire when it comes to sex. So this is the exercise’s humiliation melting round.
If you weren’t scared to ask, what would you want to try? What are you requesting authorization for? What sexual actions do you believe you are unworthy of?
If you’ve been reading my blog for a long, you’ve probably heard of “spoiling sessions.” Spoiling sessions are an excellent example of a sexual receptivity practice that causes significant anxiety in some individuals. It’s not always simple to express our desires directly. However, once we are comfortable with it, it is really useful and enjoyable.
So, in your sex life, what would you ask for if you knew your spouse was possibly receptive to it?
Do You Want Better Sex? Simply inquire.
Communication is essential in every relationship. Sex is equally important (however you define sex for yourself).
You might spare yourself years of anguish and bring that much more delightful sexual play into your everyday life if you set aside time to discuss with your significant other the condition of your sex life. So the issue isn’t Will it is worth it to ask these questions? but rather How can I afford not to have this talk with my partner?